My Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day

For the past several months I've been afraid. Afraid that my heart, my arms, and my tummy weren't big enough. Once I found out we were expecting our second child I worried that little Hannah would feel left out or cheated. I was also worried because I couldn't imagine loving someone else as much as I loved her.  These were very real fears that became stronger as the delivery date drew closer. 

I struggled with guilt when I would day dream of little Noah instead of paying attention to Hannah. Or, feel guilty when I hadn't thought about Noah because Hannah was taking up my entire attention. Matt would remind me very gently how my love continued to grow from the day I brought Hannah into the world. Yes, I would love my Noah. It would be different, but it would be just as real and intense as my love for my first born. 

My fear came back so intensely while I was in the delivery room. I fought back tears when the doctor told me it was time to push. Was I going to love him?  Was I going to be able to love them both?  

When they placed Noah Paul on my chest for the first time and I heard him cry, something inside me changed. I feel like my heart grew three sizes that day.  What a wonderful God that created our hearts to grow! I am amazed every day at the intensity of His love for us, and so very grateful that he allows us to feel that love for others.

Welcome to the world Noah Paul. Hannah, my sweet girl, you will always be the bundle of joy that made me Momma. I love you both so very much.